"Empire Of Dirt!": Sister Wives' Kody's Coyote Pass Dream Hurt His Exes (& 7 Other Ways He Let Them Down)
Sister Wives star Kody Brown's dragging out the Coyote Pass saga, hanging onto, as Trent Reznor sings in the Nine Inch Nails song, Hurt, his "empire of dirt," perhaps to control his ex-wives, Meri and Janelle Brown. That patch of land symbolizes so many dead dreams and painful emotions, shining a light on the forces that brought the famous family down. The Browns purchased the Arizona property in 2018, and as the war over Coyote Pass rages, it's clear that the past casts a long, dark shadow.
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt - Hurt (Nine Inch Nails)
Kody prefers one wife, Robyn Brown, and the other wives always come last...even when it comes to the emotional battleground that is Coyote Pass. Janelle and Meri want the property sold - they want their fair share of the proceeds. However, Kody holds the reins. Onscreen, he recently said: “We didn’t pay for Coyote Pass all equally. I paid for an entire lot all by myself, at least 92 percent of it.”
Once again, he's shaping a narrative that gives him and Robyn all the power, even though Janelle and Meri helped to make the Brown family what it is. So did Christine Brown, who, tired of the drama, sold her stake in Coyote Pass for 10 dollars.
Clinging to his lion's share of legal ownership, rather than evenly dividing the proceeds to help exes who've had to start over, showcases the flaws in Kody's character. Although he pushed those women away, hurting them over and over again, he doesn't trust them or help them. He seemingly believes that the deeds to Coyote Pass matter more than the emotional and financial well-being of women who loved him for decades. Why not just sell it and share the money equally? It appears to be about greed and power. However, when it comes to hurting them, Kody doesn't stop there.
8 Kody Became Someone Else
He's Changed So Much
During Sister Wives season 1, Kody met a woman who was fated to change his life forever. Love is beautiful, and when Kody fell in love with Robyn, he wasn't hurting anyone. The problem is that his great love changed the way that he treated his other wives. That was when he began to hurt Meri, Janelle and Christine. In Hurt, Trent wonders what he's become, referencing his "sweetest friend." The rock star has lived with addiction. Kody, hooked on Robyn, began to lose his perspective. He began to deprive the other wives of love, time, and respect.
It was a gradual erosion, not a landslide.
It was death by a thousand cuts. Only Robyn was free from the pain of loving Kody. The other wives had to live with that pain, day in and day out. As he pulled further away from them, they could feel a shift, a new darkness. It was like a chill in the air, or a bad feeling, or a bad omen. The atmosphere grew oppressive - there simply wasn't enough love to go around.
Robyn sat by Kody's side during family meetings, while the other wives scattered. Robyn, secure in her husband's love, would twist the knife.Robyn, the queen of passive aggression, never missed a chance to sit next to Kody, showing her power. In polygamy, wives must jockey for position, and this dynamic is soul-destroying. As Robyn got bolder and Kody didn't try to establish fairness, it was clear that the empire Kody built was a castle built on sand.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way - Hurt (Nine Inch Nails)
When the tide came in, three wives fled, and Robyn was still there, but was anything the same? No. So much damage has been done that Kody and Robyn aren't living their happily ever after. She doesn't know what Kody has become. Robyn says he's hard to live with.
She got her wish - monogamy - but all the hurt that went into hitting that goal has taken its toll, leaving Kody a jaded and angry man.
No one could call it a fairytale.
Perhaps the hurt that a person causes comes back on them - they must feel it in other ways. In this sense, the universe provides a sort of balance. The ex-wives had their pain when Robyn took over, and Robyn and Kody are having their pain now. Eventually, all the people involved in this plural marriage will find out who they are now. Everyone is trying.
7 Kody Still Disrespects His Exes
Peace Should Be His Priority
When the wives left because the hurt was too intense to bear, the pain should have stopped. However, Kody, increasingly paranoid and fearful, continued to hurt Meri, Janelle and Christine. When Christine left, she didn't do so in a puff of smoke and brimstone. In fact, she did all that she could to make peace. She wanted to be friends with her ex.
Kody, too immature to grasp the concept of peaceful interactions after a breakup, was not having it. In fact, he didn't trust Christine, believing that she wished him ill, which she probably didn't. He was consumed with rage, saying onscreen that he needed to get to a:
place where I don’t hate you, so I never speak bad about you to my children.”
Bear in mind that Kody rejected this woman. What seemed to bother him the most was the fact that she went away. Her greatest crime was wounding the ego of a man who didn't really love her anyway. Who could blame Christine for leaving a man who loved another woman? She rose from the ashes after that setback, despite years of torment, showing her strength and heart. After all that, she was still willing to be friends. It's Kody who couldn't take this leap of faith - he was incapable of trusting the woman who only left him because he had nothing to give her.
6 Kody Can't Repair All The Damage
But He Should Try
Kody keeps hurting his exes even though he says Robyn's his true love. If that is true, why is he always thinking about the ones that got away? He's seemingly got the dream life he wanted. It's just him and Robyn and their kids - it's the idyllic "core family" that she described. It's a traditional marriage. Even now, instead of trying to repair all the damage, he plays the victim, and even goes after Meri. On Sister Wives, he felt compelled to let the world know he wouldn't date her if he just met her.
I think if I were single and Meri was single, would I date her? No, I wouldn't. She is upset that I've dragged this out so long. I don't blame her.
For years, she got the least love and the least respect from Kody, but Meri's not a bad person. Since she got out of that horrible relationship, she has grown so much as a person. She's developed a center - a sense of self that has nothing to do with the cranky patriarch. As Meri surrendered to the fact that her marriage was over forever, she became someone else, going to a higher plateau in her life.
Now, she has Worthy Up - an online platform that is about building people up instead of tearing them down.
Kody could try to do the same, but he's locked into a pattern of demeaning the females that he used to control. Perhaps the loss of control is what's really bothering him. He no longer has a passel of women who do his bidding. Kody cannot blame his problems on them anymore. He must make his relationship with Robyn work without using the now-exes as a reason why there's tension. As they've slipped away, Kody has begun to have problems with Robyn, which is telling. Perhaps he has issues of his own that he needs to address.
5 Kody's Bonds With Some Of His Exes' Kids Are Weak
This Hurts The Whole Family
Kody has, in many ways, chosen Robyn over a lot of other important things in his life, including his kids by other mothers, but he surely loves all his children. It's terrible that he lost Garrison Brown. That was the most nightmarish moment in Sister Wives history - something that seemed too terrible to be real.
Garrison was a wonderful person who was estranged from his father Kody when he passed away. It's possible the two would have made up someday - in fact, it's quite likely. What's so tragic is that Kody never got to say goodbye. He must be tortured by memories of his son.
This kind of loss is more than anyone should have to live with.
Since life is so fragile, and Kody knows how it feels to lose what's most precious, he should do all that he can to strengthen his bonds with the children he doesn't live with. Nothing is more important than this - not a marriage - nothing at all. Kody has feuded with some of his kids by other mothers. Some of them don't speak to him.
Paedon Brown, his outspoken son, is estranged from his dad. He even claims Kody never got the COVID-19 vaccine, even though Kody made such a fuss about following anti-COVID rules. Were those rules so strict because Kody is an anti-vaxxer? Only he and Robyn know for sure.
The fact that Paedon would humiliate his father like that speaks volumes. He also wore a t-shirt mocking Kody and Robyn's nanny. Earning the respect of his own children should be easy - it's about providing consistent love - a sense of emotional comfort and safety. However, Kody really struggles with this. He seems to find it easier to bond with younger kids.
Once his children develop their own personalities, and lose that unqualified adoration that little kids have for their parents, it's harder for him. Parents should embrace the changes in their children, as they are signs of independence.
However, there's always hope, and if Kody works on this, the mothers of these kids will be grateful. As it stands, the mothers do most of the work, giving love and attention all the time. They don't really get a break from this. It's all on them. Kody can change, and when he does, he may feel a sense of peace. There is nothing better than spending time with children. They are born to love their parents - it's just a matter of earning and keeping their trust.
4 Kody Hurts Himself Too
He's His Own Worst Enemy
Kody isn't a beloved reality star. He has his fans, probably, but they are likely greatly outnumbered by his critics. By making mistakes, such as putting Robyn above everything else in his life, he has damaged his reputation. As he grieves the painful loss of his son, and Kody keeps delaying a Coyote Pass sale, he probably spends some time thinking about his image.
What can he do to make people understand who he really is... that he isn't the self-absorbed and bitter man they see onscreen? To stop hurting himself, Kody needs to be softer.
He spends too much time in his feelings, festering with rage and confusion. Three wives have left - everyone has their own life. The best way for Kody to stop the negativity and the doubts and the suspicions and the envy and the fear is to just sell Coyote Pass and evenly divide the proceeds among his exes, even if he technically owns most of the land. That act of generosity could change everything.
3 He's Left Janelle With Money Problems
Will She Be Okay?
Janelle has suffered the most since she left Kody. The death of her son is a loss she'll never recover from, but she is so strong. The financial issues she's experiencing on her own must be frightening and daunting. At the same time, no one has better tools in her kit. Janelle can survive because she has other kids to look after and because she values herself. As Kody sent her into a downward spiral, she pulled herself up, and that wasn't easy. As seen above, Janelle's launched a business and she's selling t-shirts. The one above features Kody's put-down. Yes, he called Janelle the:
Teflon Queen.
The honest woman who just wanted to go camping with her husband once in a while, and was willing to work to support the family, while many other wives stayed home and did what they wanted, is no "Teflon Queen." This is another crass attempt to pull someone down who might actually be a better person than him. Who is to say she's worse? No one else thinks that - it's all from the patriarch.
Janelle was his buddy, helping him every day. She was loyal and nice. It's only when Kody basically abandoned her and her children during the COVID-19 pandemic that she lost her temper. He thinks she does bad things but nothing "sticks" to her - but what has she really done? She expressed her frustration over being a single mother who got no backup. The pandemic went on for a very long time. And now she has lost her child that she tried to save.
Pain and pain and pain. The trauma that the Brown women have experienced, except Robyn, is staggering. And Kody also has his pain. Everyone is hurting - while some of the drama may be amplified for the sake of entertaining viewers, it's obvious, based on the estrangements and feuds, that there are real issues in this family. More hate and put-downs won't change the dynamic.
2 Kody Plays The Victim
His Exes Are Not Villains
Hurt is a song about pain - it's about acknowledging it and understanding it and trying to survive it. It's about self-loathing and doubt. The song is sad, raw, and real. Johnny Cash asked Trent if he could record the tune, which was a touching homage to Trent's awe-inspiring creativity and honesty. While everyone has been a victim in a sense, Kody shouldn't play the victim so often. While Trent wrote Hurt in the throes of addiction that nearly claimed his life, Kody has so much.
Since Kody doesn't always count his blessings, they can be counted here. He has a wife he adores - they have been together for a long time. No, it's not perfect, but he wouldn't trade her for anyone else. A lot of people don't have that. He has children who love him - even those who are estranged from him love him. He could heal those rifts and enjoy their company. Some people want kids and don't have them. They are another blessing.
Kody has a fancy house - yes, he listed it for sale for 1.65 million dollars, but he can and will buy another one. He has 97 percent ownership of Coyote Pass. He has fame. Kody has free time. The horror of his son's death is something that money can't fix - for that, he deserves compassion. However, he has love all around him. He just needs to really see it and recognize how precious it is.
1 Kody Needs To Be More Grateful For What He Is
That's The Secret Of Happiness
So much misery comes from not appreciating the beauty that is everywhere... the love and the simple things, like food on a table, or a TV show to watch. Kody is over-complicating his life. He needs to sell Coyote Pass so he can take some time to smell the roses. He needs to learn how to truly enjoy his loved ones. He needs to quietly contemplate the hurt, and try to make it better. Life doesn't last forever, and every day is a gift. It's about finding beauty in even the harshest situations. It's seeing God in other people, in nature, in oneself. God is love.
When Kody focuses on gratitude, he can turn his "empire of dirt" into a shining kingdom, where the sun almost always shines. It's all in the mind. The Sister Wives star has so much potential, and if he develops the gentler side of himself, he can be happy. Hanging onto Coyote Pass, which is really just some earth and trees and a pond, is just holding him back. Inner peace can be hard to find, but it's not a pipe dream. It's something that comes from appreciating what's most special about life.
Sister Wives can be streamed on the Discovery+ platform.
Source: Janelle Brown/Instagram
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